Hi Erin,

I was an exchange student (from Germany) in a very small town in South Georgia. The host family I stayed with went to church at least three times a week, and for the first time in my life, I had actually been exposed to religion (before that I wasn’t even sure why we celebrated Easter).
Anyway, I couldn’t understand why some of the people I met were ‘two-faced’. I met cheaters who gave talks about being happily married, and partiers who condemned cigarettes, alcohol and party-going.

It occurred to me: “They try to tell me how to become or be a better Christian, but quite frankly, they suck at it, too!” The ‘Green Beret’ inside of me was asking: “Why should I even listen to some of these folks?”

Matthew Polkinghorne wrote: “The human desire and need to find intimacy and be authentic are often thwarted by subconscious doings of the mind - behaviors expressed by an individual that are considered to be inauthentic.” (http://discoveryourground.com/?p=271)

Over the years I have decided: If someone gives me advice, they are sharing their knowledge with me. They are connecting with me from a place that is very real to them and they are inviting me to connect. I allow myself to be influenced. Influence, either way, starts with connection.

I find efforts “by those attempting to lead from where they are” (not to be confused with capabilities ;) very valuable. These efforts can start a relationship. Also, there could be some sort of truth or realization in every piece of [crappy, untested] advice I get.