Bruce, thanks for the comment. If I could do anything it would be to convince one small business owner that there is a different choice to be made.  I don't see it as kindness vs. assertiveness.  I see it as what Simon Sinek called the two ways we can get people to do something, inspire or manipulate.  You had trouble inspiring them.  I understand that.  It's not easy.  Some bad hires never get inspired.  Some jobs are harder.  (I have been in the trucking industry.)  So the default is to manipulate, either by being a tyrant or being more assertive, or just telling people to "do it my way."  I agree that the default cooks off to manipulate or fail.  That's what the article that prompted this was saying.  He was arguing for a particular way to manipulate people.  It never occurred to him to inspire them.

Employees (most) take a job looking to do their best for themselves first but also knowing it's not them vs. the owner.  (Not all.  I'm not naive.)  We start with energy.  But over time that energy is spent.  After months or years of manipulation, with little or no attempt to re-energize us with inspiration, we give up.  The owners manipulate and we stop responding to anything else and neither of us likes it.  It's a chicken and egg thing.  Owners need to accept responsibility for their inability to inspire and employees need to accept responsibility for being so hard to inspire.  Writing articles about how to manipulate better will never be the best answer.

Mike...