Tristan, Thank you for this powerful post! I read it a couple of days ago, and had to ruminate on it a while before I could come back, reread it, and comment. That's how difficult a thing change is to effect - and I bill myself as a professional catalyst for change, so...

Convincing others that change is actually going to benefit them is difficult to say the least. Think how popular Ken Blanchard's book "Who Moved My Cheese?" is. My personal motto has always been, "Please Move My Cheese," because routine is like a death sentence to me. But most people don't see it like that - and the longer they are with an organization, the more failed attempts at change they have probably seen, so that they become cynical. Combine that cynicism with the endemic lack of trust you describe in your third point (often well-deserved), and you can see how change is going to be difficult at best; probably even impossible.

But it doesn't have to fail: change must succeed, and done right, it absolutely can! Last night I had the great fortune to receive a copy of Laura Goodrich's phenomenal new book, "Seeing Red Cars." Pondering your post last night and this morning, I dove into her book and lo and behold, there in the very first chapter is an on-target discussion of this very problem, complete with thoughtful and time-tested solutions. I can't recommend it highly enough: http://www.amazon.com/Seeing-Red-Cars-Yourself-Organization/dp/1605097276

Enjoy the book - and thanks for spelling out the 3 steps to winning buy-in of change!