You are so right Dale.  I never thought about it in this way before, but often people do not say exactly what they mean or feel and so part of the process of listening is figuring this out.  There is a great psychological principle called "Next in Line Effect." In a group in which people are expected to say something in sequence, we stop listening to the person directly preceeding us so that we can construct our thoughts.  In this case we lose only a little in the series, but in a conversation, there's only two people so if we are always constructing what we want to say next, we lose a lot.  The process of leading by listening, constructing our thoughts AFTER we actually hear what's being said and letting others lead in this sense intrigues me.  Thank you for your insightful comments!