Mary,
Wow, some interesting nuances explored in your online conversations.  I like to simplify this for myself: I give respect (and trust) to those whom I meet. Its when there are behaviors, even words, that show negligence, bias, gossip, pettiness, favoring, and over/covert sabotage from employees when I withdraw trust and/or respect.

There is entitlement in organizations (public and private).  But it is hardly reason to disrespect an employee.  To dismiss entitlement behaviors and use it as a way to judge employees unfairly is like saying "It's not worth my time to help this employee know how this behavior is limiting their potential."  To be balanced, only after repeated attempts to coach an employee to grow from entitlement-related behaviors does a manager begin to question his or her trust and respect for the person.  This, however, is not a one or two-shot deal.

A bigger question we must ask ourselves is, "when do we turn our back on another human being that needs coaching?"

Great conversation.  I hope others join in.

Shawn