I share several of your experiences.  Over the years I have found myself using phrases of former mentors.  Running activities like they might have done.

More interestingly, I have worked with some "leaders" or managers, that I learned how to not manage.  The negative events can help shape your ability on leading as much as the positive.  The responses of the team members to those negative events reinforce the more positive approaches.

I now assist several companies and teams.  I still make mistakes and likely show too much ego, but I hope everone i work with learns.  I write a blog and for an online news paper for the sole purpose of providing educational materials for startups, entrepreneurs, and leadership.  It is most rewarding when someone takes the time to tell me they learned something or like what I wrote.

I like what you wrote and hope it helps others as well.

Taffy Williams
http://www.colonialtdc.com
Links to blogs, articles and other materials care found in the weblink above.