Jane,

I also loved their book by the same title.  We should ask it of ourselves much more frequently.

Many times we think that "WIn-Win" means "pleasant-in-the-short-run-for-all-involved" and that's naive.  Much of the most beneficial lessons I learned were painful and some were costly.  Some of the leaders who helped me learn those lessons did so in a helpful way.  Some added baggage.  Being genuine and sincere and trying to understand things from my perspective helped.

We do need to let it be OK for people to fail, and I'd add "once" rather than occasionally.  If you continue to make the same failures, that's a problem.  If each failure is new, keep learning.

Mike...