HI, Scott - fascinating post:)

I believe this statement captures the issue quite well:  "Communication all too often breaks down not only because the sender isn’t really sending, but because the receiver isn’t really receiving."

As they say, it takes two to Tango and it also takes two to communicate effectively.  Otherwise someone is just preaching and someone else is just ignoring.

I have often felt that my words were not being heard, but when you throw in the element of considering the hearer's position, I am not able to recall as many instances.   This is probably NOT because they are fewer, but rather that I am just not attuned to think about the "receiver" end of things.

I remember once at a call center in the Southwest, I was doing a corporate "canned" training session and realized after the first hour that the group of front line supervisors were not engaged ... at all.

After a brief struggle with my sense of duty to the organization to continue the session, I broke training and started asking questions, which resulted eventually in a very productive discussion about the realities of their work environment.  What I was selling would not work for them, at least in the way I was selling it.  The participants were remarkably candid, once they understood I really wanted to hear from them.

The bottom line was a much revised workshop for the rest of that day, engaged and happier participants, with just a slight ruffling of feathers back at headquarters over my mid-workshop course correction.

The difference was in the ongoing application and willingness to continue to try to implement the techniques from the workshop in their work environment, and a much improved ability to trouble-shoot their own supervisory behaviors.

By the way, the topic of the workshop was "Coaching in the Workplace":)

John