My first thought is how is it that our politicians are called civil servants, but there is rarely an act of civility coming from them.

What you've identified here are important, not just in leadership, but in the whole of society. We have lost the nice factor in many segments of life in general.  Individually we choose our friends and will spend time with because they are nice.  The more I witness in organizations and associations the less I'm willing to put myself out there for them, because I'm still nice and I want to stay nice.

I don't think it's good or best, but i think it's how we gradually create the wider and wider gaps.