HI, John - very interesting and useful post.

I love your use of the term "adore" here, but I would probably say "respect" or even "engage with", because that is the point of all your excellent observations about communications.

Each one of your four points is right on in terms of its importance to us as leaders.  If we are not asking these questions and considering these dynamics, we are operating in a vacuum ... and our organizations probably show it.

I especially enjoyed your comment about others reflecting what you project to you.  This is key to understanding yourself, but I see many folks who will look everywhere but toward themselves as the possible reason why employees are working as needed.

As goes the boss, so goes everyone else, to a large degree.  An important point here might be that, at least in my experience, this is not about everyone acting the same, but rather that our modeling of effective behavior moves the center mass of our workforce more toward the effective side of the spectrum.

I believe that when I am positive and even chipper in my daily work, those who work with me will tend to be more chipper than their "normal".   For example, the person who already lives in "Chipper" land will just blossom, while those who are naturally more reserved or even morose will become more friendly and relaxed.  They will NOT become clones of me or of the naturally chirpy folks in the group.  Just more than they would be otherwise ....

Thanks for a nice post:)

John