Hi, John - great list and a solid post:)

Like Jane, I have nothing to add to this already comprehensive set of observations about one of the common things we do rather poorly much of the time:).

I would comment that the last bulletpoint about apologizing does not always show up in other treatments around listening, so I thank you for including it here.   I believe that when we consider apology, not as a sign of weakness, but of ability and a strength-based action, we are in better relationship with others.

Actually, apologizing seems essential to really use the point before it about asking for meaning.  There are at least two reasons why something in a conversation, discussion, or presentation is not clear:   1)  The person explaining was unclear, or 2) You were not paying close enough attention.   Regardless of which is true in a situation, when you apologize as you ask for clarification, I would imagine the discussion goes better than if you try to prove to the person that they were unclear:).

Thanks for a well-written and enjoyable post.

John