{Note: I left an ever so slightly different version of this comment on Deborah's facebook page (I feel like a naughty child for not saying Mrs. Costello, which I guess goes to show a little bit of the power words have over us). It was originally two comments, the second of which was responding to Deborah's reply to me, but I've combined it here to attempt to make it a bit easier to read and to try not to force anyone else to essentially copy and paste their own comments. I thought I'd post it here as she said she wished some of the conversation happening there was happening here, even though that was probably not aimed at me, I AM part of the narcissistic generation, and therefore I'm pretending it was. I'm also adding this here to show a point of view of someone from my generation (which I am in no way claiming to represent) and show a slightly different way of looking at things. WARNING: some people may find some of the language below to be inappropriate, but I in no way apologize for using it, seeing as I personally do not find it to be so.}

I think the problem isn't so much with the words themselves but with the implications that are put behind them. There is, for example, nothing wrong with the word "slut". Some girls are sluts. There is nothing wrong with that, and they are perfectly happy with that fact.. To say people should not use the term "slut" is enforcing a somewhat sex-negative view point that's its own brand of slut-shaming (even if accidentally so). Banning such a word is as equally guilty of trying to regulate how people (women, in the most common usages of the word) refer to, think about, and ultimately use their bodies. "Slut" can be (and is often) used in a completely sex-positive way. The problem, like I said, isn't with the words it's how people are using them.

If you think about it, a word itself is a completely neutral thing. So if you don't like a word (or its connotation), don't try to stop people from using it. Educate them on why that word is offensive to you (which might actually make them stop anyways), and then maybe try to reclaim it. Pussy doesn't have to mean someone who is weak. Meanings change all the time (after all, "pussy" originally referred to a cat), so why not try to change words to something you think is better instead of attempting to control or censor their usage?

To be totally honest, I completely agree with the idea that changing the meaning behind a word isn't going to always be possible, and when it is, it's going to take a long time and probably be quite difficult. Deb's comment in her response to me on facebook about the generational difference of views on the word slut proves that it does take a while but it is possible. My generation (on the backs of generations of feminists before us) is taking it back and reclaiming it as our own. However, I also have to add about that particular comment (that not many "parents today would cheer for their daughters being called sluts"), that most parents also would not cheer at being told their daughter is having a lot of sex, possibly with multiple partners. In particular this case, it's not the language that's being objected to, it's the act, or the thought of their child engaged in an act that they don't believe to be appropriate for them. This is possibly due to generational differences or the fact that people tend to think a bit differently when it comes to their own children (or so it seems from my general observations of our society, as I'm not a parent, and therefore I don't have first hand experience).

Also, I disagree with the assertion that words that started out as being derogatory, such as the n-word, can't change their meanings. If we look at the n-word specifically, we'll find that the people that it has been aimed at actually have taken it back. You just have to look at many rap songs by black artists in recent years to see that at least among parts of the African American community it has come to symbolize camaraderie. True, it's not appropriate for races that have historically used it in derogatory fashion to use it in its new meaning, but that doesn't mean that at least in some contexts the meaning hasn't changed.

That said, I definitely don't disagree that words carry a certain amount of power and that people have a responsibility to use that power appropriately. A knife in the hand of an angry, violent person can do a lot of damage, but that same knife, in the hands of a surgeon for instance, can help a lot of people. So like I said before, we need to educate people and change the use of language that is hurtful, instead of trying to ban it altogether.