Hi, Jane ... as I have come to expect, another thought-provoking and fascinating post.

Two terms kept occuring to me as I read your observations:  Social Intelligence (the ability to understand and engage with others as members of a group) and Emotional Intelligence (the ability to identify emotions and engage with others individually).

If your stories are as prevalent as I am afraid they are, we have a significant problem.

I might be old-fashioned and I was raised in a rural environment where simple tacts of kindness and taking care of each other was nothing to remark on, but as natural as breathing.   When I moved to an urban environment, I did notice that people were less "friendly" and more self-concerned, but I also found that, with a little work, I could still make connections with others and enjoy the types of reciprocity of which you speak.

I do agree that modern technology, while it increases the possibility that we can do good for others, has not seemed to create a groundswell of mutual giving.  I believe that this is ultimately a very persona decision on how to engage with others.

The difficult part for me is to give freely, without expecting or demanding reciprocity.  That is the purest form of generosity and those who can do this consistently are to be much admired.  I try, but it's hard:)

I guess that I need to consider this further, but for now, I have one observation:

No matter what others may do, I will continue to give without worrying about what I receive or whether I receive anything in return.  I'm no saint, but I sleep better at night when I live out my life this way.

Thanks for a post that will probably occupy some of my thinking time for quite a while.

John