John,

BIG thanks for your thoughtful and instructive comments...which should be required reading in many organizations and social groups.

Your point about getting ensnared in our own "should be" orientation is particularly insightful. Brings us back to learning how to manage paradox:  don't get so caught up in the upsides of your position that you ignore its downsides when the strength gets overplayed into a weakness.  That government perspective you raise *smile*

Jane