Hi, Sharon:)

First, let me say I am very impressed with both you and your daughter.

Second, this is a well-written and valuable post on an important aspect of leadership.

Your story about the artist who invites criticism (in the useful sense) of his work really struck a chord with me.   I think that a person's perspective on criticism is very critical to understanding how confidence comes to one.

I know from teaching critical thinking that many folks seem to have a certain perception of criticism - one linked closely to negative fault-finding and confrontational conversations.

Good teachers, coaches, trainers, and managers who seek to help others have probably developed a view of criticism as fact-based, objective, and comprehensive - in other words, focused on helping a person understand wholly without invoking the negative emotions that we generically associate with criticism.

Articulate voices like yours help us move toward the more positive and inclusive understanding of what is a very important part of anyone's leadership development journey.

About "fear of failure", I think our society overemphasizes "winning" as the goal and only acceptable outcome.   We praise that single-minded focus on "being the best by beating the rest", which leaves no room for collaboration and sharing.  Everyone is everyone else's enemy and to be viewed with distrust.  This is an environment in which it is harder to fail, because society does not reward failure.

I have worked in organizations where the CEO says "We learn from our failures", but then continues to manage people based on rewards for victories and punishment for failures.  I question what is being learned in such environments.

Thanks for sparking my thinking (and a quick trip down memory lane) this morning:).

John