Concerning the five reasons why EI workshops are likely to fail…

1.  I agree that emotions are learned through social encounters and interactions.  But to me that just means that there are many opportunities to become aware of one’s emotions, to identify those situations that trigger negative emotions, and to practice learned EI techniques to get better.

2. The second reason cited, that one must first unlearn old habits before he can learn new ones, I disagree.  My experience in teaching EI skills for 17 years is that by practicing new approaches and positive emotional states you can begin rewiring your brain to respond in positive ways to things that used to trigger negative emotions.  Besides, I don’t know how to “unlearn” something I know.  How do you teach someone not to do something.

3.  Rather than telling people they need to develop or improve their EI skills, the approach that seems to attract people in our EI programs is to have participants focus on what they can improve if they enhance their EI skills and to allow them to seek the specific benefits they want rather than to tell them they have a deficit.  This is an important part of preparation that is cited as the 4th reason EI workshops fail.

5.  I absolutely agree that coaching is an important aspect in developing EI skills, whether it is one-to-one coaching by the instructor or peer coaching.