Hi, Tabitha - excellent post on an important workplace issue.

I thought your five-step process for dealing directly with this to be very valuable.  This will be a helpful tool to share with others, especially since so many avoid any type of confrontations at work and with those who are on a level or above the level at which one toils.   Your approach provides some needed support, first for the idea that one can and should not just "let this pass", and second, that a way to confront without conflict exists.

I do wonder about people who do not have the option to look elsewhere for collaboration when this fails.   Whether we work at the lower levels of the organization or at the higher levels, we are often required by job constraints or design to work with another person, whether we would choose to do so or not.

I think your process has much value in any situation, but do you have additional thoughts about what to do when you cannot realign your collaborations?

About your ending question on accountability and forgiveness ... for me, this always depends significantly on how the person who needs to be forgiven responds to a mature and calm confrontation over their actions.

If the person responds positively, then accountability has been reinforced.  If they continue to avoid responsibility for their actions, then accountability is weakened or even non-existent.

Then we are at that point you mentioned of deciding whether we can adjust our work situation and collaborations to avoid a repeat performance.

Thanks for a very well-written and useful post:)

John