Hi, Mary. I like your perspective here. I would add that to me, when you realize your decisions/ actions will lead to" unliking" you, its a signal that you may be missing an opportunity to use "tough love" or other approaches where people may not like what you DO but they will respect and/or like you more for doing it. This demonstrates the tension between what you do and how/why you do it. If you are conscious of these differences and manage them independently, you can also manage your likeability, which I agree is important.