Hi, John:

Well, you certainly got my attention with that opening story ...

Every single item on your list resonates with me, especially with my past work in therapy.  These are classic points for people in relationships to consider, together and separately, as they live, love, work, and go through life together, regardless of specific relationships.

I have to fix two, because they seem to fit together closely:

"How open are you with each other?" is vital, because the quality of your openness with another speaks directly to the quality of the trust in the relationship.   Without a strong and healthy mutual trust between two people, openness will simply not occur to the level needed for progress and happiness.

"How unified are you in the way you make decisions?" might actually be considered a corollary or a symptom of my first choice, depending on the health of the relationship:)

You used the pronoun "you" twice in that sentence.  The first use might be the personal "You", where you are reflecting on your contribution to the relationship in terms of making decisions.  The second use is clearly collective, where the results of both people affect the decision-making process.

If openness is not present, you will not have unified decision-making.  Without openness, decision-making becomes either a psychological game tournament or a power struggle based on personality traits.

Really enjoyed reading and reflecting on this post, John:)

John