HI, Mary - great post and way too close to home:)

The big take-away for me in your thoughts was that when we promise something to someone else, we always have a choice about how we handle not filling that promise:

1)  We can frame our actions in relation to the other person - such as saying "They don't really care if I do this now or later."  As you wisely point out, our credibility in their eyes is diminished when we do not do what we said we would do when we said we would do it.

2) We can consider ourselves as the barometers for the results from not keeping our promises - thinking in terms of our own self-credibility (If that is actually a word) and making our case based on our own sense of integrity.

Old and very useful saying:  "The true test of a man's (or woman's) character is what he does when no one is watching." (John Wooden)   I think this applies here, because ultimately our sense of integrity comes from within.  It is not something granted by others, although they will judge the quality of our integrity.

A thought about observable behavior:  Everyone else can see what you do, but only you can see what is in your heart.

I am a big fan of doing the right thing at the right time ... for the right reason.

Loved this post - thanks for starting my day off with some solid leadership thinking!

John