You make many great points Mike especially that love is a verb!

There seems to be a prevalent belief that holding someone to account is somehow shaming them or doing them harm, perhaps because as you point out it can be painful to have to face where you did not deliver on your promises.  .For the person holding someone to account it can be painful too - being on the other end of someones negative emotions/reactions can be hard.  Yet when we hold someone accountable for being and doing their best then we strengthen them.  it is as you point out an act of love.  Iff you are blaming or shaming someone in the name of accountability you are not holding them accountable but rather attacking them.  No one wins or grows and harm is done to the people involved and the relationship in those situations.