Hi, Mary:)

What a great essay on how messy this dealing with people stuff can be.   We read, we study, we plan, we do all the right things ... and things just don't work the way we think or hope they should.

I admire your consistent willingness to look at your own behavior and analyze it, which benefits both you and all the rest of us.   That "save the world" idealism runs through most professionals I know, regardless of their field ... we all want to make the world run better for everyone.

Don't give up your idealism.  When you help us look at ourselves honestly and consider our past actions in order to make our future actions more effective, you are indeed changing the world, one person at a time:)

By the way, crying is a sign that you need to step out for a while and regroup.  You did exactly what you needed to do in that situation - good on ya, as my cousins would say:).

John