Mary, you asked the right thought provoking question. I hope the person on your story went on to make changes in his management style. I know the broken spirit that comes from working for a bully.  To change their spots, a Leopard first has to recognize they have spots and then want them to be different.  I've seen a transformation in people.  For my husband who lived cantankerous for years, our conversations were more along the lines of, "Is this how you want to be remembered? When people think back what are they going to recall? Do you really want your grandkids to remember you ornery?" Like you pointed out in this article, we have to see the flaws or we have no impetus to fix them.