Hi Mike, it's a nice post is this one, thank you for it.

I had a coffee this morning with a youth member I'm mentoring and something akin to this topic was brought up (training in self-leadership).

I see it very much to do with the strength of relationship between the one in development and the one doing the 'training', and the motives for the relationship.

In a nutshell, if as his trainer/mentor, my objective is his conformity to my performance expectations for him, his capacity to grow and make his own responsible decisions has been capped. If he grows at all, it will be my way and not his. Accountability also becomes a chore rather than a growth exercise, which puts a cap on the ability for the relationship to develop also.

On the other hand, if my motive is about him growing to be all he's going to be, and to make responsible decisions out of who he is (and not who I am), then his capacity to grow is uncapped by me and only bound by his current perceptions of his ability. Accountability is borne out of relationship of mutual trust, respect and a desire for growth. And as a mentor, I am now an encourager and a sounding board. I challenge him to stretch himself and I inspire him to press onward.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Mike, is that I agree with you!