This is great, Mary!  I think one of the keys to coaching is being open to outcome.  When faced with a tough discussion, my approach is to present the issue as *my* issue that needs solving.  I put the individual in the problem solving chair.  I begin with "Here's something I'm worried about.  Can you help me resolve this?"  I follow it up with a description of the issue, then sit back and see what happens.  Great stuff!