I agree with your perceptive comment.  I have learned for me to turn the fear into a curiosity.  So I thought they were supposed to do X and they did Z.  Now I go and ask, authentically trying to discover why they did whatever they did.  That authenticity that you mention is key.  Maybe I wasn't clear?  Maybe someone else told them to do Z and they thought it could replace X.  Most people don't fail to meet expectations for any malicious reasons.  That's why it's easier (at least for me) to ask.

Thanks for the great comment.  Mike...