Hi, David.  I'm careful not to disparage my Green Beret friend.  In fact, Im certain he is a leader in his own right.  I have a deep respect for military personnel, having come from a long line of servicemen.

That said, I also agree with your coach comment, and I also feel confident that my "friend" could have approached this whole topic in a much better way - one that seeks to understand, versus one that seeks to demean and disparage (although, I do have experience and leadership that may surprise him!)

A core component of great leadership lies in the foundation of your intent as a leader.  Is it to build others or to elevate yourself?  The answer to that question says a lot about the leader.