Hi, Mary  - another fascinating and useful post:)

Your story about marrying at 21 so as to have a level of certainty in your life rang true with me, especially since I also married at 21 for much the same reasons.  I think you make a great point about how most of us tend to seach for and cling to what appears certain, while few of us dare to risk uncertainty.

Of course, as you also note, navigating that uncertainty is also where the learning takes place and this is essential for a productive and happy life.

As my first marriage was crashing, mostly due to the fact that I craved the certainty, but did not have the maturity to live with the responsibility that entailed, I moved to the Big City.  My life up to that point was mostly small town, Middle American and MidWest, aside from a few relatively short forays into military life.

As I grappled with the complexity and pace of urban life, I once again clung to familiar and stable things, such as a few friends from "the sticks" who were traveling the same journey.  I found that when I dared to keep moving (like Dory:), I did better and the dependence on the familiar did not become toxic.

I think we need the combination of certainty and uncertainty to really get the most out of life.

Thanks so much for another interesting and thought-provoking post.  I especially appreciate your willingness to share your own story with us.

John