Page,

Thanks for the reflective comment. You said alot here: "But holding them accountable has always made me feel like I’m the bad guy. I need to shift my thinking, I think, to remember that NOT holding them accountable is the bad thing."

That is so important. One way to look at it is that you don't give over responsibility when you delegate...you share it. So you're still responsible for it at the end of the day.

As for location of accountability conversations, I try not to have one location become associated with 'bad stuff'. My cat hates her cat carrier because the only time she sees it is for trips to the veterinarian. Culture, not cat carriers. (Definitely one on one for most of those accountability conversations, however.)