Hi, Jane.

Great post! When I read Mitch Joel's blog earlier this week, I was sadden by the condition he found himself in. It is reasonable to fall into the trap of narcissism if what we do each and every day is focus on ourselves; if we only have the time to respond to social media that's directed specifically to us; if we are continually broadcasting "our message."

But as I often tell my clients, "social" media is about being *social.* If you walk into a room where there are various groups of people talking and interject yourself into conversations which you invariably steer towards being all about you, your popularity won't last long. Being social is a two-way street. It's about listening to what others have to say, and then sharing your thoughts and insights while valuing those of others around you. You don't have to agree with what everyone says. But when you disagree, show respect and clarity of thought, or respectfully bow out of the conversation.

As character-based leaders, our focus isn't on accomplishing a specific task or fulfilling assigned quotas. It's on equipping our organization, clients, colleagues and fellow leaders so that they can do the things they do best. It's on building them up, offering course corrections and sanity checks where needed, and  allowing them to experience the satisfaction of a job well done. Someone tweeted earlier this week about how good leaders take more credit than their share then things go wrong, and less credit than their fair share when they go right. The same thing applies to social media. We're here to help one another, building one another up, helping us each reach our individual goals. We're filling a vacuum that many corporations have left behind by undervaluing their leaders.

If I use a Google alert or search regularly on my brand and name, it can be viewed as much as a humility check and an accountability check as a vanity check. It all depends on our heart motive and our perspective. Am I "checking myself out in the mirror" to make sure I'm properly put together (shirt's buttoned straight and tucked in, not missing an earring, etc.) or because I'm so enamored of my reflection that nothing else matters? When people truly do approach things from a narcissistic viewpoint, it's readily apparent and most people choose "not to play that game."