Hi, Will - you nailed one of the most common issues for leaders.

I was immediately reminded of an exercise which I have participated in and facilitated many times over the years with various groups.

The exercise seems simple - here's the version I most often use:

Two people (sometimes three) share their thoughts back and forth on topics that matter to them for a set short time period.

The first person to talk simply shares their thoughts on some topic either assigned or of great important to them personally.  They stop talking after 1-2 minutes when a buzzer or bell goes off.

The second person cannot begin talking about their topic until they have stated the first person's message back to them completely and clearly - to indicate that they were indeed listening to what was being said.

The second person then talks about their topic and the first person must do the same.

This continues until people start glaring at me or the alloted time runs out.   Then we talk about how it felt to have to clearly convey another's thoughts, rather than simply launch into our own.

This exercise always produces a great amount of discussion, mostly focused around how difficult it is to simply listen to another person and keep your own thoughts from bouncing into your head.

There is more to the set-up and the selection of topics, but hopefully you get the general idea.

Listening to others at a level that assures understanding is more difficult than we think.  Unless we make a determined and consistent effort to change our natural tendency to focus on our own message, we won't hear them and we won't understand them.

Great post, as usual:)

John