Peter, I think you're almost right on, and I especially like your simple checklist approach to development.  However, I think the degree of access managers have to these skill sets depends on the culture in which they work.  Why? Because entire management cultures - all of them - also have access to these two fundamental skills yet few are naturally versatile in the use of both.

Managers, and including top managers who set the context for culture, CAN access both Relating and Requiring skills each day. They CAN think about their daily interactions with these skill sets in mind.  But the most "natural" thing managers will do is filter their interactions through their own current frame of reference, which may be self-aggrandizing or self-deprecating.

Outside perspective is needed for managers, and the collective cultures in which they work, to recognize their blind spots.  Bringing in new managers from other cultures may help, but cultures tend to influence managers more than new managers influence cultures.  Outside facilitation and coaching is necessary, to introduce new questions, recognize new interpretations of employee responses, explore new applications from the two skills sets and enhance versatility in the development and use of each of the two skill sets.