Some nice comments, and I fully agree with you on the Leadership opportunities that exist with Coaching.  Children/Players respond amazingly well to a coach who can coach the game and advance everyone on the team.

My personal experience is that when you find a coach who 1) has played soccer (or said sport) 2)can coach the technical and tactical aspects of the game, without yelling/screaming and 3) demonstrates the above steps you listed, then you've found a winner and you should keep your group of girls around that coach.  Better luck next season, and as you progress through more soccer, asking questions of prospective coaches' styles and experiences, for your daughter or with whom you might coach, can help you avoid the frustrations you experienced.